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August 21, 2020

Dear Drama Observers, I saw a couple once who were tangled up in a marital knot. What follows is the short version of their longer tale. Her complaint was: “He lies constantly. He tells me he’s going to do something but has no intention whatsoever of actually doing it. If he loved me, he’d follow […]

August 14, 2020

A Recollection of Something Not Remembered I recently re-watched a 1987 documentary series called Eyes on the Prize about the Civil Rights Movement during the 50’s and 60’s. You may recall the Freedom Riders of 1961 who rode buses through the South for the purpose of sitting where they wanted on the buses and using […]

August 7, 2020

Dear Drama Observers, For several years, I had the privilege of traveling the country to present a seminar for mental health professionals entitled “Inside the Manipulator’s Mind,” the chief focus of which was to equip professionals to help clients who were experiencing relational manipulation. Some seminars focus on treating the manipulator. Mine focuses on helping […]

July 31, 2020

Dear Drama Observers, I had it all planned out. I got up earlier than usual this morning and had just enough time to bang out this letter, stick it in the pneumatic tube, hit the send button, and whoosh, you could pull it out of your end of the tube sometime this afternoon. I popped […]

July 24, 2020

Dear Drama Observers, I’ve talked a lot over the years about something I call the conflict trap. It’s a cycle of relational frustration I’ve observed countless times in my work with couples. Here’s how the conflict trap works: She’ll say or do something that pushes one of his buttons. He reacts to the button push […]

July 17, 2020

Dear Drama Observers, I’ve told the story before of a couple I worked with once. Their presenting complaint was that they were “stuck” and needed help getting unstuck. When I asked if they had ever succeeded in getting unstuck before, they recounted this experience from their early weeks of marriage. While dating, she was attracted […]

July 10, 2020

Dear Drama Observers, A few years ago, I asked a friend if she’d be willing to share her story of what it was like growing up in the home of a narcissist. It’s one thing to read articles about them. It’s quite another to be raised by them. I thought I’d share her well-written and […]

July 3, 2020

Dear Drama Observers, We started a few weeks ago looking at five abilities needed to do the right things when flaws are revealed in close connections. Normal People have developed these abilities, but Drama People haven’t. We looked at the first two and then got detoured because, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, there’s a […]

June 26, 2020

Dear Drama Observers, I do a fair amount of marital counseling and I’ve noticed over the years that when I see a couple’s name on my schedule for the day, I have an emotional reaction. And I’ve learned to use that visceral sense as a thermometer of sorts which gives me a reading on the […]

June 19, 2020

Dear Drama Observers, Several years ago, I got a call from a lady inquiring about my services as a marital counselor. I called her back and we set up an appointment for her and her husband to come in. “Oh, by the way,” she inquired before our call ended, “do you know anything about Narcissistic […]