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July 10, 2020

Dear Drama Observers, A few years ago, I asked a friend if she’d be willing to share her story of what it was like growing up in the home of a narcissist. It’s one thing to read articles about them. It’s quite another to be raised by them. I thought I’d share her well-written and […]

July 3, 2020

Dear Drama Observers, We started a few weeks ago looking at five abilities needed to do the right things when flaws are revealed in close connections. Normal People have developed these abilities, but Drama People haven’t. We looked at the first two and then got detoured because, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, there’s a […]

June 26, 2020

Dear Drama Observers, I do a fair amount of marital counseling and I’ve noticed over the years that when I see a couple’s name on my schedule for the day, I have an emotional reaction. And I’ve learned to use that visceral sense as a thermometer of sorts which gives me a reading on the […]

June 19, 2020

Dear Drama Observers, Several years ago, I got a call from a lady inquiring about my services as a marital counselor. I called her back and we set up an appointment for her and her husband to come in. “Oh, by the way,” she inquired before our call ended, “do you know anything about Narcissistic […]

June 12, 2020

Dear Drama Observers, I’d like to tell you a story and then make a point about white privilege. Several years ago, a friend of mine stumbled into therapy. No, I don’t mean she accidently walked into a counselor’s office. She and her husband went to see a counselor for a marital check-up the same way […]

June 5, 2020

Dear Drama Observers, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there’s a lot going on. Playing on repeat in my head lately is that haunting Buffalo Springfield melody with the lyrics: There’s something happening here What it is ain’t exactly clear There’s a man with a gun over there Telling me I got to beware […]

May 29, 2020

Dear Drama Observers,  I tell people sometimes, “If you’re not sure where your flaws are, there’s a quick and easy way to find out. Get married. Or get a roommate. Or just get in close to someone because it’s in those close relationships that our flaws become evident.” Relationships are like relational mirrors in which […]

May 22, 2020

Dear Drama Observers, For several years, I traveled the country presenting a seminar on emotional manipulation for mental health professionals. I’ve done several versions of it, but one of the brochures described the seminar this way: From guilt trips to gaslighting, emotional manipulation takes many forms, and it’s often so covert that clients have difficulty […]

May 15, 2020

Dear Drama Observers, I don’t know about you, but two things have been particularly troubling to me of late. First, there’s the ongoing uncertainty of when and how life returns to normal. Maybe the previous normal will never return and some new iteration of normality lies up ahead. Exactly what that looks like is anyone’s […]

May 8, 2020

Dear Drama Observers, I was browsing Twitter the other day and came across this exchange between three people I follow: Person 1: “Help, my parents are spreading conspiracy theories on Facebook.” Person 2: “Show of hands, whose parents are not spreading conspiracy theories on Facebook?” Person 3: “You have finally said something I agree with.” […]