The final drama role we’ll discuss is what I call the “mute”. Here’s how this type of drama works: My role in the drama is to avoid discussion of anything conflictual. Your role in the drama is to pretend along with me that everything is fine. As long as we both play our drama roles, we’ll get along well. Any questions? When the mute plays his role, we use phrases like,
- “He’s in denial;”
- “We had an argument and now she acts like nothing ever happened;”
- “There’s this huge elephant in the living room that we can’t talk about;”
- “He just won’t discuss it;”
- “Every time I try to bring up the problem, she changes the subject;” and
- “I’m supposed to just pretend like everything is fine.”
The mute’s role in the drama is to appear untroubled. Our role in the drama is to participate in the pretense. And if we don’t, then we’re the troublemaking bad guys who refuse to let things go.